Quotes "Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow spot into the sun." - Pablo Picasso "Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life." - Sandra Carey "Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking." - H.L. Mencken "When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut." - anonymous "To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." - anonymous "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." - General George S. Patton Jr. "If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?" - Art Hoppe "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read." - Mark Twain "A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." - Arthur Block "A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions." - Wilson Mizner "A hospital is no place to be sick." - Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant turned famous movie producer "A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately they don't have a J.O.B." - "Fats" Domino "A man can do what he wants, but not what he wants." - Arthur Schoperhauer "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic." - Joseph Stalin "An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject and how to avoid them." - Werner Heisenberg "Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic." - Arthur C. Clarke "Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying." - Fran Franklin "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." - Ambrose Bierce "Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is Genius." - George Bernard Shaw "Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse." - Los Angeles Times Syndicate "Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." - David Lloyd George "Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward." - anonymous "Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding." - Abraham Kaplan "God wisely designed the human body so the we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily." - unknown "Good judgement comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from bad judgement." - anonymous "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." - W.C. Fields "I do not feat computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asamov "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." - Mark Twain "I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem." - Ashleigh Brilliant "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." - Voltaire, French writer and philosopher (1694-1778) "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho Marx "I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom." - Anatole France "I've gone into hundreds of (fortune tellers' parlors), and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrester her." - N.Y.C. detective "If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport." - George Winters "If you cannot convince them, confuse them." - Harry S. Truman, U.S. President (1884-1972) "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." - Earl Wilson "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein "In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language." - Mark Twain "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good people at heart." - Anne Frank "It is always brave to say what everyone thinks." - Georges Duhamel, French author (1884-1966) "It is bad luck to be superstitious." - Andrew W. Mathis "It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious." - anonymous "It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics." - Fletcher Knebel "It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech." - Mark Twain "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright "Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence." - Chinese proverb "Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler." - Albert Einstein "Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms." - Groucho Marx "My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." - Ashleigh Brilliant "Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting." - Billy Rose "Often it is fatal to live too long." - Racine "One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing." - Frank Sheed "Our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness." - Vladimir Nabokov "Pedestrians never seem to realize that they are a threat to the safety of cars." - Thomas Sowell "People who feel well are sick people neglecting themselves." - Jules Romains "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius "Rivers in the United States are so polluted that acid rain makes them cleaner." - Andrew Malcolm "Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards." - Fred Hoyle "Tell the truth and run." - Yugoslav proverb "The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." - Voltaire "The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale." - Arthur C. Clarke "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost "The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion." - Arnold H. Glascow "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." - Shakespeare: Henry VI, Part 2, act ii "The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive." - John Sladek "The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out." - Tennessee Williams "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." - Albert Einstein "The shortest distance between two points in under construction." - Noelie Altito "The universe is looking less and less like a great machine and more and more like a great thought." - Ortega y Gasset "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." - Salvador Dali "There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant "Throw a lucky man in the sea, and he will come up with a fish in his mouth." - Arab proverb "Too much of a good thing is wonderful." - Mae West "Unless a man feels he has a good memory, he should never venture to lie." - Montaigne "We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." - John W. Gardner "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower "When a dog bites a man, that's not news because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news." - John Bogart, American journalist "When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred." - Thomas Jefferson "When things go wrong, don't go with them." - anonymous "Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?" - Artemus Ward "You can't have every thing. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright "Do not unto others that you would not have them do unto you." - The Golden Rule 94.12.18