Registration Day
by Gavin Gunhold

On registration day at taxidermy school
I distinctly saw the eyes of the stuffed moose
Move.



Fruit Fly
by Gavin Gunhold

Due to the tragically short life span of the average
fruit fly,
College is not really an option.
Caps and gowns don''t come in that size anyway.



Industrial Secret
by Gavin Gunhold

The oil companies don't want you to know
That the average car will run on
Consomme,
If you can figure out a way
To get the parsley out of the carburetor.



Group Therapy
by Gavin Gunhold

When my psychiatrist went insane,
Only six of my multiple personalities
Were cured.
The rest of us want our money back.



The Bargain
by Gavin Gunhold

After the hair tonic saleman's toupee fell off
He decided to lower the price.
So I bought six cases.
A bargain is a bargain.



Household Security
by Gavin Gunhold

As a positive step against crime
I bought a watchdog,
And am training him personally.
This week we study full contact karate.



Green Thumb
by Gavin Gunhold

To make sure my apidistra gets enough carbon
dioxide
I'm reading it
THE GREAT GATSBY
During the boring parts
The leaves turn brown.





All above poems were written by Gordon Korman for the book "A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag" (copyright © 1987 Gordon Korman Enterprises, Inc.). Here's a little background on them. The two main characters of this book, Sean Delancey and Raymond Jardine, have to do a poetry report for english class, so they pick the most odd-ball author they can find (one Gavin Gunhold) in the hopes of getting a good grade for originality. They find the first poem by Sir Gunhold ("Registration Day") a bare 57 seconds before their topic was due...unfortunatly they didn't do any futher research on the poet....and they eventually discovered that he had died in a freak accident (here's a quote from the book...Gavin's obituary):


Gavin Gunhold, 1899-1949

Gavin Gunhold, service station attendant
and poet, was killed tragically yesterday
waiting in line in the Canadian Imperial Bank
of Commerce when the Queen Street trolley
car jumped the track and crashed through
the bank's front window. Gunhold, three
months overdue on his rent, was in the bank
to cash the fifteen-dollar check he had re-
ceived for the publication of his first and
only poem, "Registration Day," by the re-
cently bankrupt Toronto Review of Poetry.



Of course our hero's were a bit upset. What could they do? Write their own poems, tell their teacher that they were written by Gavin, destroy all evidence that Gavin Gunhold had died, setup Sean's grandfather to impersonate Gavin, go on talkshows, have articles written in newspapers and magazines, and eventually get arrested for blowing up a school, of course!!! Sound cool? Buy it! from Amazon.com


Other Books by Gordon Korman you should check out: Or do a search on Amazon.com for Gordon Korman